fic: When the Wind is Southerly: Season 7 (1/?)

[readingrat]

 Author's Note: This is a continuation of When the Wind is Southerly: Season 6, so if you haven't read that you will probably need to start there. 
Summary: Cuddy and Wilson keep up the myth of House's recovery, but is House as clueless as he seems to be? 

My thanks to brighidsfire for betaing and encouragement, to flywoman for suggestions and critique, and to the folks from Clinic Duty for providing episode transcripts.

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I: Now What?
In which Rachel plays a larger role (and sex a smaller one) than House (and smut-loving Huddies) would have liked.

When Wilson entered his condo at noon he made straight for the answering machine to check for messages. Nothing. He'd checked his cell phone for missed calls every half hour; Cuddy hadn't called since he'd hung up on her. As he stood in the middle of the condo wondering what to do, his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of the pocket, a weight lifting off his heart as he saw the caller ID.

"Cuddy? Thank God! ... Is House okay?"

Cuddy's voice was low, but without the tenseness that had characterised it eight hours earlier. "Yeah, he's fine. He slept for six hours. He's just making breakfast."

"Great. Great," Wilson said. Cuddy added nothing, so finally Wilson said, "Did he ...?"

"He didn't take anything. Not that it would have mattered - turns out the vicodin pills were breath mints."

"House was sitting there with breath mints?" Wilson didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.

"Seems Lucas found House's secret, secret, secret stash and thought it would be funny to replace the vicodin with breath mints."

"What a jerk! How did you explain that to House?"

"I spirited them away before he realised that they weren't vicodin." Before Wilson could comment on that Cuddy continued, "Listen, Wilson, I need your help. I have Rachel here. Can you come and pick her up?"

"Aren't you going to tell me what happened?"

"Nothing happened." She sounded impatient. "I went in there and told House that I had to re-bandage his wound. Then I got some painkillers and sedatives into him and put him to bed."

"You - sedated him."

"Yes."

Wilson wished he could see Cuddy's face. Come to think of it, he wished Cuddy could see his face. "Was that necessary? What if he'd had vicodin before you arrived? You could have killed him."

"Yes, it was necessary. He needed rest," Cuddy explained tersely. "Look, I really need you to get Rachel. He hasn't realised she's here and ..."

Wilson huffed in exasperation. "Cuddy, you may have got six hours of sleep, but I haven't. I've only just got home. House doesn't eat children, no matter what he says."

Cuddy's voice took on that tense quality again that it had had the night before. "When I said he doesn't 'realise' she's here, I meant just that. He's seen her sitting on the couch, he's heard her babbling to herself, but .... Look, when he heard her he said something about 'those damn mice in the kitchen’. You know how he is about animals. He could well brain her with a rolling pin and throw her in the trash."

Bending his head, Wilson drew a hand through his already messy hair. "Tell him you need to go in to work, take her and leave. From what you tell me he sounds as if he's fine now. I'll get on my way and take over from there - he won't be alone for more than fifteen minutes."

"I already tried that."

"He stopped you from leaving?" Wilson tried to picture House using physical violence on Cuddy, and failed.

"Not physically. ... He wants me to spend the day with him." She said the words as though they had some secret significance.

Wilson sprawled on the couch, massaging his forehead with his free hand. "Cuddy, I haven't slept in thirty-six hours. If there's some subtext here, I'm sorry, but I'm too tired to figure it out."

There was a longer silence. Then, "He ... he thinks we're in a relationship. I did what you told me to do; I told him I'd dumped Lucas."

"You slept with House," Wilson stated flatly.

"No! I told you - I sedated him. But he believes that we... that we had sex."

Wilson had never heard Cuddy stutter so much. Some of the tiredness lifted. "Wow! That might cause complications," he said, feeling glad that he wasn't in Cuddy's position.

"You're telling me!"

"You need to tell him."

"I know! But how the hell do I do that without him coming apart again? You should see him, Wilson. He's ... he's smiling. He's like a kid at Christmas opening up all his presents. What do you think will happen when I tell him he can't keep them?" Wilson preferred not to think about that. "I'm still trying to figure out how to let him down gently."

Wilson considered his options. "Okay, I guess I'm better off with Rachel than with House. I'll be there in about twenty minutes."



Cuddy wasn't taking her phone, House wasn't answering the door or his calls. Wilson prowled around the apartment, wondering when a neighbour would spot him and call the police. Finally his cell rang.

"Cuddy, what the hell is going on?"

"I'm sorry. I tried to talk him into letting you in, but he's worried about you, y'know, finding out about 'us'." There was a sound of running water; Wilson figured that Cuddy must be calling from the bathroom.

"Can you bring Rachel out?"

"I don't think so. He hardly leaves me for a minute. The best I can do is distract him while you get her. Don't you have a spare key? Oh, damn, I've got it, haven't I?"

Wilson remembered something from his endless rounds around the apartment block. "The kitchen window is open a few inches. I'll climb in through there. Where's Rachel?"

"On a blanket in the living room. I'll get House into the bedroom, then you can grab her and go out through the front door. You need her booster seat. My car key is in my bag, and that's lying on the floor next to the door. Thanks, Wilson."

"No problem," he said, mentally cursing both House and Cuddy.

"Oh, and Wilson? I didn't bring along enough diapers for Rachel, and she needs a change. Badly."


II: Selfish
Wherein it is shown that contrary to House’s beliefs, neither video games nor rats are conducive to a successful courtship.

"So you decided to go public." Wilson loomed before Cuddy at the clinic desk.

Cuddy looked around quickly to make sure no one was within hearing before she returned to the file she was filling out. "He did. I had no interest in it, as you can imagine."

"But you've made it all official - a signed contract at HR, etcetera." Wilson oozed disapproval.

Cuddy looked up again, raising her eyebrows at him. "Did I ever insist that you sign contracts when you screwed any of the staff here?"

"No ... I ... it was never official ...I didn't date anyone, not really."

Cuddy snorted. "PPTH has no fraternisation policy," she said.

"We don't? Why not?"

"There is no sense in having rules if you can't enforce them."

"Then what were you doing in HR with House?" Wilson asked suspiciously.

Cuddy sighed and put her pen down. "I talked with legal a few days ago. He's been on leave for a year now - half a year as sick leave and the other half as a sabbatical that I talked HR into. He never took his vacations, so he has another three months of those. But in three months' time, if he still has no licence, I can't hold him any longer. HR will bring it up at the next board meeting."

"He has tenure. There'd have to be a unanimous vote to dismiss him," Wilson pointed out.

"Not if he doesn't have a licence. We haven't had a case like this before - a doctor with tenure but no licence - but apparently his contract expires automatically once his leave is over if the board doesn't vote to keep him on, and why should they? We're paying him a hefty salary for doing nothing. It's better to dissolve his contract before it expires, because it gives him the chance to bargain for a golden handshake."

Wilson pinched the bridge of his nose. "How did House take it?"

"I didn't tell him. I did the bargaining for him, so to say." Cuddy glanced around once again before admitting, "He thinks he signed a love contract."

"That's - I'm pretty sure that's fraudulent at best!"

Cuddy waved Wilson's indignation away. "He could have read what he was signing. He's not incapacitated and has the legal right to enter contracts. Wilson, it's what he would do if he knew of his state. He'd ruthlessly go for the best financial deal he could possibly get. I drove a hard bargain for him, so he's got a solid financial buffer for the future. Besides, there's no alternative." She turned back to her file with finality.

Wilson studied her for a moment, taking in her deliberately casual stance, the slight turn of her body away from him, the rather higher neckline than usual. "How's everything going with House?"

"Fine. He's happy, so I'm happy." Cuddy shrugged slightly, as though to indicate that a relationship with House was no big deal. "Besides, I now have an excuse to drop in on him - it'll be easier to keep an eye on him."

"Right. Ummm, how's the sex?" Cuddy snapped the file shut and turned around, leaning her back and both elbows on the clinic counter. She fixed Wilson with a hard stare. Wilson stuttered on valiantly, "I mean ... I've always wondered ... you know, with his leg ... it can't be easy.... Sorry, I shouldn't have asked." He cast up both hands defensively.

"You're damn right! I don't have sex with House."

"Oh. Then what do you do?"

"Eat together, talk, play games." She smiled at his incredulous expression. "Yes, board games, video games - he enjoys that, and so do I. One can be in a relationship even if one isn't having sex." She considered that thought with a frown, and then she added, "Though I guess we aren't really in a relationship."

"Then what did that display in my office mean?"

Cuddy looked somewhat guilty for the first time. "House," she said hesitatingly, "hasn't realised that we aren't having sex. ... I sedated him that first day, then I had a 'stress headache', then I 'got my periods'. He believes we're in a conventional relationship."

"And you had to grab his crotch to reassure him," Wilson said austerely.

"You provoked that," Cuddy retaliated. "I gave him a perfectly chaste kiss on the lips, but you had to question everything. What was I supposed to do?"

"Did you have to grab his balls? A more passionate kiss would have convinced me. When he realises that you're leading him on, he's going to be that much more hurt."

"Because pawing his genitals is so much more intimate than a passionate kiss," Cuddy said sarcastically. "Honestly, Wilson, there's a reason why hookers will let their customers do anything but kiss them." She smiled at Wilson unpleasantly. "That's who you can ask, if you really want to know how he does it with his leg - one of his hookers."

"I've never met any of them. The only person I know who has had sex with House since the infarction is Stacy."

"You said they split up before the infarction. Oh, no, don't tell me she was with both of you at the same time after the infarction!" Cuddy looked revolted.

"No, no! She left before House was physically capable of more than working the remote control," Wilson hastened to explain. "But she slept with House when she was here with Mark."

"Nonsense!"

"Not so! He told me. It was after they came back from Baltimore. They got closer there in that snowstorm and then ..."

"Wilson," Cuddy said firmly, "Stacy didn't go to Baltimore with House. I wanted her to, but she refused. That's when I told her she needed to find another job, because I have no use for a lawyer who won't deal with House-related cases."

"Stacy didn't go to Baltimore with House?" Wilson repeated stupidly.

"No. There was an incident the week before. House had broken into Stacy and Mark's place while Stacy was at work and Mark in physio. What he didn't know when he planned his heist was that the exterminator would be there. Stacy got home to find a dead rat, a hysterical exterminator, two police officers, a very suspicious Mark and a completely unrepentant House. It took her ages to calm down the exterminator, get Mark to drop charges against House, pacify the police and get rid of House. When I mentioned accompanying House to Baltimore she hit the ceiling, and I can't blame her."

"Oh." Leaning against the counter next to Cuddy, Wilson scratched the back of his head. "He was convinced that she loved him."

"He didn't stand a chance. Stacy was relaxed and comfortable with Mark, not tense and wound-up the way she was when she and House were living together." A thought struck Cuddy. "Wilson, he believes now that Stacy slept with him, or did he believe it then already?"

"Then." They looked at each other.

"You're sure he wasn't jerking you around."

"Yes."

"There was no reason for him to hallucinate that."

"Reason? Does anything House hallucinate have a reason?" Wilson spat.

"Yes! As you told me hardly a year ago, everything House hallucinates has a reason and an explanation. When Stacy returned with Mark, the infarction lay five years back and he'd had no major physical trauma. His vicodin intake was high, but not completely out of control."

"Stacy's return could be considered mental trauma," Wilson interjected weakly.

"So can anything and everything that House puts himself through on a daily basis: firing diverse members of his team; allowing patients to assault him; giving himself migraines; hell, sticking knives into outlets. There's no end to it. For all we know he's been hallucinating non-stop ever since the infarction. We have no idea whether his reality coincides with ours or not!"

"That," said Wilson heavily, "explains a lot of things."


III: Unwritten
Gives the Reader insights into how the plots of modern bestselling novels (and possibly even television shows) are developed.

Wilson's shadow darkened the door of Cuddy's office. Hardly glancing at him as she sorted through a pile of papers she asked, "Has House ever given you a present?"

"Umm, no. Why?" Wilson carefully closed the door behind him.

"Are you sure?" Cuddy persisted.

"Pretty much. I'd have declared a House-is-Human Commemoration Day to mark the occasion."

"Hmmm." Cuddy stared thoughtfully into space.

"What?" Wilson asked despite himself as he lowered himself onto the visitor's chair without awaiting her invitation.

"He says he gave me a couple of books a few years ago."

"He gave you a book as a housewarming gift a few weeks ago," he pointed out.

Cuddy shook her head. "No, he doesn't mean that one. I'm sure I never got a present from House before that."

"Just go along with it," Wilson advised. "Pretend that you've read them. He's in love with you and he believes he did things for you; he'll be hurt if you don't give his 'gifts' the attention they deserve." When Cuddy nodded, he continued, "We need to talk."

"About House?"

"About your budget proposal for the upcoming board meeting." Wilson placed a print-out of the offending article on Cuddy's desk. "I noticed that you want to double the PR budget."

Cuddy stiffened, smiling her administrator's smile. "Yes."

"And that you've reduced the oncology budget by exactly the same amount."

"Yes." The smile became toothier.

"Shouldn't you keep our private issues out of our professional dealings?" Wilson suggested gently.

"I have no private issues with you." Cuddy waved a hand at him. "My head of oncology caused the biggest PR disaster in the history of this hospital, so his department will bear the brunt of the campaign I'm initiating to mitigate its effect. And you will support my budget proposal at the next board meeting or God help your soul!"

"I ... haven't done anything! Okay, I urged you to get involved with House, but it wasn't my idea that you go public or advertise your relationship all over the hospital. It isn't that big a deal, anyway - people have been speculating for years."

"I am not so narcissistic as to believe that the news of our relationship constitutes a PR disaster. I'm talking about Alice Tanner."

Wilson looked relieved. "Oh, that! That's nothing. Diagnostics didn't have a case, and House adores her books."

"So I gathered. You thought you'd keep House busy and amused." Cuddy's tone was not amused.

"Yes. You," Wilson pointed an accusing finger at Cuddy, "said you didn't want him in your bed, and the best way to keep House out of it is to keep him occupied. When he's on a case he isn't interested in sex. If you've changed your mind about the sex, then I'm sorry." He looked utterly unrepentant.

"I haven't. Nevertheless, having Alice Tanner in my hospital is not a Good Idea."

"She isn't Alice Tanner. She's an actress whom I paid to impersonate her," Wilson said smugly.

"I know. I happen to have met the real Alice Tanner."

"Really!" Wilson looked impressed. "You should have brought House a signed copy - he'd have been thrilled."

"He was with me, actually." Cuddy leaned back, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Two nights ago, when we broke into her house: the real Alice Tanner's house, where we were discovered by the real Alice Tanner who nearly brained us with a real baseball bat."

"House said her housekeeper came in and ... oh!"

"The next time you choose a figure of public prominence to keep House occupied, take someone who resides on the West Coast. Or better still, in Siberia. I persuaded her not to call the police or to have House prosecuted for stealing her property, but I had to make some major concessions." Wilson massaged the back of his neck. "Since House now knows the plot of her next novel and could leak it, she's having to re-write it. A major portion will be set in a hospital, a small, well-endowed East Coast teaching hospital. I have agreed to give her access to all our facilities and to instruct my staff to give her any medical or non-medical background knowledge that she may need."

Wilson grasped at the straw. "That's ... good publicity for us. She's bound to thank us in her acknowledgements."

"Furthermore," Cuddy leaned forward, chin propped on one hand, "I have given her my assurance in writing that neither PPTH as an institution nor any individuals working for PPTH will sue her or apply for prior restraint."

"We'd want to do that because?"

"Because the revised plot revolves around children being misused for illegal medical trials by diabolical Dr Leah Catty, who is supported by brilliant, but physically and emotionally crippled Dr Gary Horse."

"Ah, a roman a clef," Wilson said weakly.

"I'm glad we've got the semantics sorted."

Wilson decided on a change of topic. "What publicity measures were you thinking of?"

"The book is due to be published in the fall of this year. I've scheduled a poster campaign in January, a series of public lectures through spring, and a career day in late summer for the age group most likely to read Tanner's book."

"Sounds good."

"So I have your support," Cuddy stated.

"Naturally." Wilson shrugged in resignation as he got up and turned to go.

"Oh, and Wilson?"

"Yes?" He turned at the door.

Cuddy's smile was shark-like once again. "I suggested a slight plot modification to Ms Tanner: the real villain of the story is an oncologist under whose unassuming, charming exterior lurks the mastermind of the crime. Catty and Horse are merely his puppets, made amenable to his will by blackmail and drugs. She was very grateful for my contribution."


IV: Massage Therapy, Unplanned Parenthood
Explains Cuddy’s dislike for go-kart racing and Rachel’s obsession with moose. The Reader is once more reminded that a good reputation, like a woman’s virtue, is easily destroyed but difficult to restore.

The door to Wilson's office banged open, but it wasn't House. It was Cuddy, emitting steam from every possible orifice in her head.

"Did you give House relationship advice?"

Wilson jumped. "I ... what ..."

"Did you tell him to give in on the massage therapist?" Cuddy was poised ominously in front of his desk.

"I ... may have suggested that it would be a reasonable move for a boyfriend to ..." Wilson raised his hands as though to placate her.

"You moron!"

"You want your boyfriend to be massaged by a hooker he used to have sex with?"

"He's not my boyfriend, she isn't a hooker, and he never had sex with her."

Wilson tipped his head to the side. "Are we talking about the same two people here?"

Cuddy flopped down in the visitor's chair. "The woman who is massaging House is young, reasonably attractive and a legit physiotherapist and masseuse. She is not a hooker, and I doubt she's dumb enough to have sex with a client."

"Then why are you upset at House getting massaged by her?"

"You told me I can't dump House because he'll go on a bender. I agree. But keeping him at a distance is getting complicated. There are just so many migraines, periods and visits from my mom that I can use as a pretext." Cuddy brought her fingertips to her forehead for a moment.

"You've - managed to keep him from ... He sounded as though you two have been, you know, ..." Wilson flushed.

"No, we haven't. He doesn't know, though. When I can't avoid it we play video games or watch movies in bed till he falls asleep. Afterwards I pretend we've had sex."

"And he buys that?"

"He's given me a few odd looks, but what guy doubts his abilities if his gal expresses satisfaction? Still, I can't keep this up forever. It's just a question of time before he decides he wants sex before the video games, so if I can't dump him then he has to dump me."

"That ... could work." Wilson scrunched up his face.

"It had better. I've yelled at him at work, instigated PDAs in front of his fellows, rubbed in how few common interests we have, pretended to hate go-karts ..."

"You like go-karts?"

"Everyone loves go-kart racing."

"You had me fooled."

"That was the idea, right? Anyway, when I saw the massage therapist I had this idea that I'd pretend to be jealous of her. He'd find that ridiculous, causing the situation to escalate. And while it escalated, I'd have an excuse to avoid sex."

"Well, it worked, didn't it?" Wilson pointed out.

"Yes, but not the way I intended. Me being jealous of a perfectly respectable massage therapist is so corny that he'd be right not to give in and fire her. He can't very well avoid every woman under the age of sixty-five just to keep me pacified. But I'd hardly got round to saying that she looked slutty when he volunteered that she was a hooker with whom he used to have sex."

"You're sure she isn't?"

"I'm sure. She's perfectly respectable."

Wilson cast around for an explanation and came up with, "His mind is making something up to make your reaction to his therapist seem reasonable, so that he doesn't have to dump you."

Cuddy gave an exasperated huff. "Look, I don't pretend to understand how his mind works. All I know is that although his subconscious may be suggesting that he doesn't want to break up with me, his jackass conscious was still strong enough not to give in as a matter of principle. Not until his meddling friend gave him totally crappy advice." Wilson looked guilty. "Now he doesn't have a massage therapist and I have to find him a new one. In addition, he's figured out that I've been keeping him away from Rachel. I've had to ask him over."

"Having him over could make it easier for you. Checking on him regularly costs you a lot of time, time away from Rachel."

"Rachel always gave me an excuse not to spend the night. How do I stop him from staying over if he comes to my place?"

"Cook healthy, make sure he doesn't get hold of the remote control, and ..." Wilson paused, giving Cuddy a calculating look.

"And?" Cuddy prompted.

"Make him look after Rachel. I'm sure she's a sweet kid, Cuddy, but House is petrified of her."

"There's no way he's looking after Rachel! Don't look like that - he's delusional. I can't let him look after my daughter."

"You let him run around the hospital," Wilson hastened to point out.

"Accompanied by a professional team of babysitters."

"I'll keep an eye on him."

"Wilson, if you offer to help him, he'll make you do the work and then call in sexual favours from me. It's a win-win for him that sort of defeats my purpose."

Wilson couldn't refute the logic of Cuddy's argument. "What if I watch through the windows?"

"What if House catches you at it?"

"Not if I stay outside Rachel's window. That way she's supervised and House is unlikely to see me. You go and coerce him into babysitting Rachel. I'll take care of the rest."


The next morning

Wilson had barely hung up his overcoat when his office door opened and Cuddy poked her head in. She looked sleep deprived and stressed.

"Wilson, what is going on? I couldn't get rid of House last night, and he kept hopping in and out of bed like a flaming jack-in-the-box. The only upside was that he was too rattled to think of feeling me up."

"Relax. Everything is under control. House is on edge because he thinks Rachel swallowed a dime. I've convinced him it's a dire medical emergency."

Wilson's words did nothing to reassure Cuddy. "Rachel swallowed a dime? Why the hell ..."

"She didn't swallow a dime," Wilson clarified. "But she woke up around nine-ish, so House called me to support him. It seemed an ideal opportunity to rub in the downsides of dating a woman with a kid, so I, ah, made a dime disappear."

"He didn't say anything about the dime," Cuddy said, eyeing Wilson suspiciously.

"No, he's hoping it'll turn up. He's doing an ultrasound at the moment to trace its path through her intestines."

"Are you crazy? You're letting House carry out unnecessary medical procedures on my daughter?"

"It's only an ultrasound," Wilson hastened to pacify Cuddy.

"He'll be doing exploratory surgery in no time. Go to him and stop him before I do exploratory surgery on you without the benefit of anesthetics!"

As he took his lab coat, Wilson put a calming hand on Cuddy's arm. "Don't worry, Cuddy. House has no desire whatsoever to do anything to Rachel that might piss you off. The next time you change her diaper, pretend to find a dime in it."

Cuddy still looked worried as she allowed Wilson to propel her towards the door. "Are you sure House didn't give anything to Rachel - laxatives, sedatives, I-don't-know? She was decidedly odd this morning. I could hardly get her away from her bedroom window; she insisted there was a moose out there. I hope she doesn't have nightmares the next few nights."

"Lots of imagination, that kid," Wilson said, glancing at the moose cap hanging next to his coat before he quickly shut the door behind them.

---

Chapter 2 here

Comments

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

I should be making dinner for my kids, not stifling my laughter. If she hears me my daughter, the only one who can read English well, will come here and want to look at what I'm reading. She's eleven I think it's a bit early for slash fanfic; it's bad enough that she watches A Bit of Fry and Laurie. Yeah, she could read this, but what would stop her from clicking around?

"The Reader is once more reminded that a good reputation, like a woman’s virtue, is easily destroyed but difficult to restore."
Do tell me that this is from Pride and Prejudice chapter 47 "loss of virtue in a female is irretrievable (...) her reputation is no less brittle than it is beautiful" (thanks to pemberley.com).

Favorite lines:
"Okay, I guess I'm better off with Rachel than with House."
"I didn't bring along enough diapers for Rachel, and she needs a change. Badly."
"I'd have declared a House-is-Human Commemoration Day to mark the occasion."
"Everyone loves go-kart racing."

The whole roman à clef part was hilarious, including the names and the final plot twist.

Awesome closing punch: "glancing at the moose cap". Luckily my two youngest kids are screaming in the leaving room or my laughter would have been heard.

Okay, I'll go cooking now. Dinner will be served at 8.20 instead of 8, and it's all your fault ;-).

[readingrat.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I must admit that the 'Unwritten' chapter is my favourite so far in this fic.

Do tell me that this is from Pride and Prejudice chapter 47
That line was definitely my subconscious inspiration, but I have to confess that I didn't look it up. P&P is one of my favourite novels, so lines from it pop up in my mind at random, begging to be (ab)used.

[barefootpuddles.livejournal.com]

LOL! I finally caught up to your newest chapter. I like the explanation of why Cuddy would suddenly allow House to babysit after having found him not long before on his bathroom floor about to have a drug relapse. Not to mention knowing that he disliked her decision to adopt, referred to the child as spawn, and had been for a time both hallucinatory and delusional along with addicted.

I love your annoyed, accusatory banter between Wilson and Cuddy as each blames the other, but needs the other as well.

[readingrat.livejournal.com]

Thanks for commenting.

Actually, I never objected to her letting House babysit - if she won't let him babysit when he is not on drugs, then allowing him to practice as a physician when he is on drugs is definitely reckless of others' health. Besides, what exactly do we know about the people who supervise our children on a daily basis (teachers, trainers, etc.)? Nothing. We assume they are responsible, but there's no saying whether they are. What stymied me was her flimsy excuse for needing him to do so - babysitter's daughter's dance recital must have been a well-planned and predictable occurrence, not a sudden emergency.

Yes, Cuddy isn't cool about the situation any more now that she is involved and primarily responsible for House. And Wilson finds it difficult to stomach that someone should supplant him as the main person in House's life.

[barefootpuddles.livejournal.com]

if she won't let him babysit when he is not on drugs, then allowing him to practice as a physician when he is on drugs is definitely reckless of others' health.

To me it's a different situation - he practices with others around him including an entire team as well as Cuddy and Wilson as a second level set of House-babysitters(and wasn't Foreman put there specifically to report if House is being too crazy?). Also, medicine is where House shines, his history of being responsible for small creatures is mixed at best (remember Hector eating his drugs and the door being left open purposely). I think his attempt to ditch Rachel as soon Wilson arrived showed (at least to me) what a bad call it was on Cuddy's part.

Besides, what exactly do we know about the people who supervise our children on a daily basis (teachers, trainers, etc.)? Nothing. We assume they are responsible, but there's no saying whether they are.

I think we know a lot about them. Teachers are trained specifically in childcare and are run through a national and state fingerprint check and well as a TB test a drug test (at least in my state). They also practice under a hierarchical level of supervision with an evaluation system and lots of other teachers always knowing what is going on. So are all other people in the state that work with children, and those that don't have these qualifications can't be left with children unsupervised (like parent helpers in schools). Not that sometimes disasters don't happen, but they are despite the checks that are put in place, it is not that there is an absence of checks.

The real worry to me is not teachers, but exactly the worry that I had with the babysitting job given to house - babysitters are neither vetted, trained, nor supervised. Personally (and I realize I am putting my own standards on Cuddy here) I never let anyone babysit that I did not trust extremely well when the kids were too small to speak up. After that the babysitters I used all came highly recommended through other people I trusted. And at that time too I had at least three kids so they could all offer opinions and no baby was being watched alone.

I did give Cuddy a pass on this only because the show deals in crazy extremes on a routine basis that would never fly in real life, but when I realized she had arranged for him to babysit I shuddered anyway. It set my maternal alarm bells off I guess.

[readingrat.livejournal.com]

To me it's a different situation - he practices with others around him including an entire team
That makes no difference - there are laws in every country prohibiting people under the influence of whatever from working in any sort of job where they might endanger lives, no matter who is babysitting them. What Cuddy is doing (even in canon) is highly illegal, and it is not her own life or her child's that she is playing with, it's the lives of people who have not given their consent to being treated by a stoned physician.

If I had a choice between House diagnosing my sick child (and it would have to be very sick to land in Diagnostics) and House babysitting my (sleeping) child, I'd choose the latter because looking after a toddler is not exactly rocket science, whereas diagnosing and treating correctly is really a dicey matter.

I must admit here that House leaving Rachel alone in the house is something that I have chosen to erase from my memory. I admit that he has a history of being callous to animals, but not to children. He always made high demands on parents whose children he treated - I still remember a clinic scene where he calls a young man whose kid brother kept sticking stuff up his nose a moron for not supervising the kid better. IMO they had that babysitting episode with House acting like a total jerk just to be able to contrast it with the change that has taken place by 'Carrot and Stick', where he spends time with Rachel of his own accord and seems to enjoy it. It's one of those instances where IMO continuity of character was sacrificed for the sake of some plot line the writers were pursuing.

As for the rest, I'm a teacher myself so my illusions regarding that profession are limited. As House's example shows, just because there are guidelines doesn't mean that they are enforced. I'm considerably more sanguine regarding child care than you are; my faith in my child carers, however, wasn't always justified; my kids survived somehow ...

[barefootpuddles.livejournal.com]

That makes no difference - there are laws in every country prohibiting people under the influence of whatever from working in any sort of job where they might endanger lives, no matter who is babysitting them.

Ah, but there is the loophole of the entire show prior to seaosn 6 - House's medicines are legally and duly prescribed to him by one Dr. James Wilson. We, the audience, know that he should not be taking that much, as do Wilson and Cuddy, and Wilson knows that he is hallucinating (did Cuddy know? I don't think so) but yet they did nothing. But from a patient point of view he was a reasonable choice. Also any parent also who might choose House as their child's doctor has the alternative to choosing him the death to their child since he is often a doctor of last resort. While to me he is not the a babysitter of last resort.

Honestly, I do not think he was a responsible choice for Cuddy, but I do realize that this is just my point of view. I see House as irresponsible, impulsive, and sometimes even dangerous to those around him, but that may just be my take on the character (and you are correct that he not always consistently drawn either - sometimes he can be very responsible). The show can be way over the top on many different aspects of behavior too, and treat that as normal, so it is hard to look at the show without suspending some degree of believability.

For whatever reason, the babysitting thing just seemed wrong to me. I think all mothers just have different alarm systems and that one set off mine.

[readingrat.livejournal.com]

The show can be way over the top on many different aspects of behavior too, and treat that as normal, so it is hard to look at the show without suspending some degree of believability.

Very, very true. Or, as the younger generation says, THIS!

[dr-anitacoffee.livejournal.com]

Hey, leave the smut-loving Huddy shippers alone. The complaints as to the lack of PDA are perfectly reasonable...and for some of us, it's the closest thing to an intimate relationship we have going in our lives. Or was. Now it's just me and a box of Girl Scout Cookies that look longingly at one another.

This is fantastically witty, by the way. I'm curious as to the underlying medical cause of the hallucinations...do you have plans to address that?

[readingrat.livejournal.com]

Hey, leave the smut-loving Huddy shippers alone.
Ha, couldn't resist. Now I for my part would have been happy with a few comfortable sofa scenes, but no!

This is fantastically witty, by the way.
Thank you! On fanfic someone complained that this was so depressing and that 'Humour' was the wrong genre. It made me doubt my writing skills ...

I'm curious as to the underlying medical cause of the hallucinations...do you have plans to address that?
I've got my backstory and I hope to address the matter provided that the rest of the season goes in a way that I manage to wind up this fic in a decent manner.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Very clever as always, but you killed Steve Mcqueen (: I love the fact that House has been living in a totally different reality to everyone else since the infarction :) You continue to make sense of some of the stranger events of the 7th season (the love contracts, the dime swallowing, Wilson's sudden propensity to climb in and out of windows...) Great stuff!

[readingrat.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Just don't think of the rat as 'Steve McQueen' - he was probably some totally boring, run-of-the-mill parasite ;-).
One wonders about Wilson's childhood that he has such strange propensities as breaking glass and climbing out of windows.

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

I just started reading this, and you have greatly alleviated my S7 despair. Remember to fire up the guns before S8!

Great alternative take, AND you make it make sense!

[readingrat.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm glad it ticks your boxes. But no, there will be no S8 of this - after the S7 finale it took me ages to squeeze that mess into my plot.