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 Author's Note

There are events in House MD that will never cease to amaze me, no matter how often I watch the episode concerned. For example, my mind will not bend around the fact that House, scientist par excellence, switched papers with a fellow student while in med school so as to prove that his professor's grading was prejudiced, but never checked whether that fellow student got a better or worse grade than he did. Does that sound like House to you, dear Reader?

This fic tries to explain some of these seeming inconsistencies by re-interpreting the events of Season 6. Depending on how the current season develops on-screen, there will also be a Season 7 in due time.

My thanks to flywoman for suggestions and corrections and to Brighidsfire for acting as my beta despite having more than enough on her plate at the moment.

Let us assume, dear Reader, that House returns from Mayfield detoxed and drug-free, but unfortunately still hallucinating …
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Summary: When Cuddy is diagnosed with cancer, Wilson has to walk the narrow line between his friends' needs and his own. Needless to say, he lacks the sense of balance to carry it off.
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Act 5

Titania: My Oberon, what visions have I seen!
Methought I was enamour’d of an ass.
[A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act 4 Scene 1]

7:30 am

Down in the lobby there were first signs of the great event to come. The cleaning crew were giving the glass panes a final shine, the nurses at the front desk were checking their make-up and patting their hair down while the front doors opened and closed in a steady rhythm as staff members entered the hospital for the 7:30 a.m. deadline. Among the early entries was Wilson, resplendent in his best suit and a tie that shouted ‘special occasion’. From inside the hospital two security guards appeared to take up their posts, one on each side of the entrance.

House took all this in with one glance as he headed towards a central position on the gallery from which one had an excellent view of the entrance, the lobby desk and the clinic doors while able to withdraw quickly to avoid detection. He’d come in the hope of heading Wilson off to give him young Arun’s file and get a new scrip for his painkillers, thus circumventing the need to deal with Cuddy on either issue, but his hopes of achieving that were effectually quashed at the sight of the lone figure occupying his preferred spot on the gallery. Read more... )Previous chapter
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 Act 4

Titania: Sleep thou, and I will wind thee in my arms.
Fairies, be gone, and be all ways away.
[A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act 4 Scene 1]

3 am
“No, Mom, I don’t think either of us will be back anytime soon. Lucas has been admitted for observation and I don’t want to leave him until I’m sure he’s alright. ... No, it’s nothing serious, just a precaution ...Mom, please go to bed. There’s no sense in worrying – Lucas will be fine. ... Yes, I’ll lie down for a few hours in my office. ... Mom, this isn’t the first time I’ve done this. I’ll be fine! ... Yes, I can shower here and I have a change of clothes.” Cuddy rolled her eyes. “The babysitter will be in by seven-thirty, okay? ... Yes, I will. ‘Night, Mom.”

She put down the phone and leaned her forehead on her hand. Saying that she was staying in the hospital because of Lucas was far enough from the truth to qualify as an outright lie. She knew now what ailed Lucas, even if she didn’t know the hows and whys of it, but it wasn’t life-threatening. The reason she was staying was one she didn’t want anyone, least of all her mother to know, for fear that it might get around to Lucas.

House.
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Act 3, Scene 2

Puck: [...] in that moment (so it came to pass)
Titania waked, and straightway loved an ass.
[A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act 3 Scene 2]


11 p.m.

House was leaning against the wall twirling his cane when Wilson rounded the corner of the corridor outside the ER. He straightened up and limped alongside Wilson.

“She’s in a real frenzy. Thinks he might have had a stroke.” Wilson rubbed his hand over his face. “I should’ve told her it’s just Rohypnol.”

“You don’t know it’s Rohypnol. You’re assuming it based on my telephone diagnosis.”

“That’s even worse. I know he’s drugged, but I don’t know what it is, and to top it, I’m letting Cuddy believe it’s a seizure or a stroke.”

“I doubt he’d be running to tell anyone what it was if he’d managed to drug you,” House pointed out with impeccable logic.

“Good point. So you think I should stoop down to his level.”

“Think of it as cruising below your usual flight altitude to evade the enemy radar.”

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Author's Note: Feral Attraction is the porn film House digs up in Private Lives, staring a young and maybe not quite so innocent Wilson.

Act 3, Scene 1

Quince: [...] and we will do it in action, as we will do it before the Duke.
Bottom: Peter Quince?
Quince: What sayest thou, Bully Bottom?
Bottom: There are things in this Comedy of Pyramus and Thisby, that will never please.
[A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act 3 Scene 1]


10 pm

“Is everyone at their posts?” Quincy asked his walkie-talkie. The question was redundant, for there was no security staff member who couldn’t be seen on one or other of the monitors in security headquarters. “Let’s get going, shall we? It’s 8 am in the morning and Senator Woodward is approaching the main entrance with her entourage.”

Quincy and Lucas were at security headquarters, checking via the monitors whether the senator’s movements were covered at all times. Rob, who was impersonating the senator since he wasn’t needed to observe the monitors during the run-throughs, entered the lobby. Piccolo and Leo strode forward to flank him.

“Slower, Rob, you’re a lady. They don’t stride like the giant in ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’,” Quincy instructed.

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Act 2, Scene 2

Puck:
Churl, upon thy eyes I throw
All the power this charm doth owe.
[A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act 2 Scene 2]

9 pm

If House lost his whole team, there was no knowing what he’d do. No team meant unsolved cases, unsolved cases meant frustration, frustration meant pain, and pain meant vicodin. If A implies B and B implies C, then A implies C. Simple logic, but House was refusing to see it. Wilson sighed, drew his fingers through his hair and stumped through the snow to his car. On the way he saw another familiar vehicle – Foreman’s. Hadn’t House said that Foreman had left? There was a bar close by frequented by PPTH staff. Perhaps Foreman and Thirteen were there. Wilson changed tack, making down the road towards the bar.

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