OK, totally see what you mean with Wilson in this fic. It harkens back to S1: "I've only got two things that work for me: this job and this stupid screwed-up friendship." If he doesn't have either of those (I would say the relapse is a result of the depression, not a cause of it), then he wouldn't consider himself to have really anything.
To put a guess to Wilson's "why" in canon: his self-esteem is totally wrapped around helping other people (his efficacy at that notwithstanding), and he'd rather die than be the one who gets helped, especially because -- I believe -- he didn't think he had anyone in his life who would really take care of him while ill. House could be a great friend in a lot of ways, but long-term-care nurse is not one of them. Everyone else in Wilson's life was an acquaintance.
So he decided that either it gets fixed VERY quickly and everything goes back to normal, or fuck it, he'd just die. As hallucination-Cameron said to House, "You've suffered enough. You've given enough. I think you deserve a chance to just… give up. ... Like Wilson did. You accepted his choice — that ending the pain was better than the pain. Why can't you give yourself that gift?"
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Date: 2014-04-18 09:17 pm (UTC)OK, totally see what you mean with Wilson in this fic. It harkens back to S1: "I've only got two things that work for me: this job and this stupid screwed-up friendship." If he doesn't have either of those (I would say the relapse is a result of the depression, not a cause of it), then he wouldn't consider himself to have really anything.
To put a guess to Wilson's "why" in canon: his self-esteem is totally wrapped around helping other people (his efficacy at that notwithstanding), and he'd rather die than be the one who gets helped, especially because -- I believe -- he didn't think he had anyone in his life who would really take care of him while ill. House could be a great friend in a lot of ways, but long-term-care nurse is not one of them. Everyone else in Wilson's life was an acquaintance.
So he decided that either it gets fixed VERY quickly and everything goes back to normal, or fuck it, he'd just die. As hallucination-Cameron said to House, "You've suffered enough. You've given enough. I think you deserve a chance to just… give up. ... Like Wilson did. You accepted his choice — that ending the pain was better than the pain. Why can't you give yourself that gift?"